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  • Writer's pictureWomen of Drummer

Kinky in Kansas

Welcome to 2024! I want to start by thanking all the wonderful people and businesses from our Kansas City Women of Drummer regional. Thank you to Karen Barber for sending us an invite to come to KC and serving on the local organizing committee. A big thank you to Missy B’s for hosting the Friday Meet and Greet, along with our Saturday round table. Thank you to Mark Athens for arranging our play space and Miss Sara for coordinating, keeping us on track, and being all around awesome. I’m so grateful I got to hang out with so many kick ass leather folks!


As we rush into this new year, I’m very grateful that we got to take the time to connect in 2023 and share some special moments – like smoking on the patio (landing), talking about our first fetishes, or singing Taylor Swift with the drag queens of Hamburger Mary’s.


These moments are important to the Women of Drummer movement. They confirm our physical safety, but also help create the emotional connection needed for healthy kink-friendly spaces. Cause if it’s okay to sing T Swift off key – it might be okay to ask that embarrassing flogging question or get to know the really hot butch who just arrived.


I’m incredibly fortunate that I went into my first regional as Women of Drummer 2023 with already established connections with many of those in attendance. This allowed me to have a very emotional and vulnerable scene with a good friend of mine, Daddy Shay.


A little back story here: Shay and I actually went to our first in-person WoD regional together back in May of 2021. We drove over 10 hours to the regional in Oklahoma City and I have to give it to Shay for trusting that I wouldn’t drive her crazy! It was a fantastic trip where we got to know each other and set up a fun impact scene – to hear more about that you’ll need to ask Shay about her light up Daddy paddle 😉


In Kansas City, we played with needles. The idea for this scene was to incorporate Shay’s love of needles and tears, with my need for an emotional and physical release. As Shay put needles in my chest, I breathed in and out – reflecting on how much I’d gone through this last year.


There was a point at the very end of our scene where my eyes were overflowing with tears, the needles were being pulled, and I could not tell if there were streams of blood or tears, flooding down my shoulders. It was wonderfully clarifying and heartwarming to have that reset.


I needed to be reenergized. And that is part of what a Women of Drummer regional is – a movement back to the beginning of what brought us here in the first place – to fuck, to play and to have fun.


2024 has already proven to be another challenging one. A great supporter of the Oklahoma City leather community and lesbian bar – Alibi’s- has closed its doors. I’m very glad I got to ring their bell at Oklahoma City Kink Weekend when I had the chance.


It’s becoming clear that our community is not going to look the same, but the power is still there in the ritual of shared space and experiences. I hope you get lots of opportunities to cum together. And I hope you get to have those special moments that make it clear why we keep coming back.


~Lipstick, Woman of Drummer 2023










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