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  • Writer's pictureWomen of Drummer

Making Space

Pride month marked the first of the six Regional Woman of Drummer Gatherings.  These weekends are designed to bring Leatherwomen together for fun, fellowship and of course, play!  We kicked it off in Columbus, OH and the outpouring of support was truly humbling – I can’t thank you enough, Columbus, for such a warm welcome!

I couldn’t have been more proud of how the weekend went. I got to meet some amazing people from the Columbus Community at bar night from all aspects of their local Leather community.  The Roundtable the following day took off in a natural flow of discussion and questions as we all talked about Leather, what it means to be a Leatherwoman and challenges they faced.  The play party later in the night yielded sexy scenes, the showing off of some unique toy ideas (light up drumsticks for the win) and awesome energy shared.

The best part of the weekend for me was how excited these women were to find one another in an area where they felt they were lacking in space to share with fellow Leatherwomen.  Contact info was exchanged and bonds (of all kinds) were started. I left Columbus being reminded exactly why this was so important to me.  Making a space and being able to help Leatherwomen not only have a hot time together but to find and feel connected to each other, had me leaving Ohio feeling so proud to be on this journey.

Fast forward a few weeks and I am back in the airport, taking a little personal vacation. As the TSA agent is checking my documents, I hear them say under their breath, “Women of Drummer…..I don’t know what that is…..”  I look back and realize my partner is wearing his Women of Drummer tee shirt.  I told the agent, “Well it’s an organization I’m a part of that makes space for women who live alternative lifestyles to come together at meetups all over.” (which is my standard “vanilla” explanation).  She gave me the biggest smile, leaned in and said ” I know a little about alternative women.  I’m not really out but I am a trans woman and that’s really cool.”  I was completely blown away and humbled with her openness .  The only thing I could say was “Thank you for sharing that with me.  I am truly honored.”  Something I hadn’t considered was by being able to share a little about Women of Drummer (even at a very high level), made the momentary space for someone else to connect and share a some of their truth with me.

Between the recent trip to Columbus and the humbling exchange in the airport really got me thinking.  It’s sometimes easy to forget how privileged I am.  I am able to be out with the lifestyle I live.  My body itself carries privilege.  I have a local community that I regularly interact with and that supports me.  I have space to be my authentic self.  I recognize that not everyone has that and that is why being a part of Women of Drummer means so much to me.  I am dedicated to helping make space for women to come together, be themselves and have a fucking fantastic time sharing in community and play.  I might not know the journey someone is on, but whatever it is, I am honored to help make a space for a momentary stop on that path.

Yours in Leather,


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